we always read (and watch) stories about people who go through life-changing experiences. whether it’s a family who has lost their child to a rare illness, a young veteran who has returned home with only half of his limbs, or a woman malled by her friend’s crazy chimpanzee – the stories we hear from the media are all about resiliency and the courage to go on.
until recently, these stories have always seemed so far removed. and although i haven’t been faced with the unexpected loss of a loved one, i’ve been reminded of just how important it is to keep things in perspective. far too often, folks try to compare their experiences with others, attempting to (dis)qualify their pain and feelings of fear, sadness, etc.
but everything is relative, and my experiences are just that – mine (as i like to believe yours are yours). the things i find to be traumatizing may (seem to) pale in comparison to what others have been through, but that doesn’t make my experience(s) any less significant. for some folks, losing their dream job might hit harder than learning a friend has been injured in a near-fatal auto accident. and that’s just the way it goes.
we all go through hardships; and it is important to take ownership of your experiences and keep things in perspective. don’t believe the hype…you’re the only one to determine whether your reaction is appropriate or not. so whether your dog ate your homework or your mom broke her hip, do you and press on.
i think there’s a delicate balance between owning/experiencing one’s strife and feeling sorry for oneself. “it could always be worse” is not a pick-me-up in my opinion. it’s belittling and tries to shame you out of feeling your own feelings. i’m not into playing the biggest victim; let me go thru my issues and you’ll have yours and they both matter. good topic. good post.