Archive for May, 2009

25
May
09

put it in perspective.

By crys. (c) 1 Comment
Categories: uncategorized.
Tags: , ,

we always read (and watch) stories about people who go through life-changing experiences. whether it’s a family who has lost their child to a rare illness, a young veteran who has returned home with only half of his limbs, or a woman malled by her friend’s crazy chimpanzee – the stories we hear from the media are all about resiliency and the courage to go on.

until recently, these stories have always seemed so far removed. and although i haven’t been faced with the unexpected loss of a loved one, i’ve been reminded of just how important it is to keep things in perspective. far too often, folks try to compare their experiences with others, attempting to (dis)qualify their pain and feelings of fear, sadness, etc.

but everything is relative, and my experiences are just that – mine (as i like to believe yours are yours). the things i find to be traumatizing may (seem to) pale in comparison to what others have been through, but that doesn’t make my experience(s) any less significant. for some folks, losing their dream job might hit harder than learning a friend has been injured in a near-fatal auto accident. and that’s just the way it goes.

we all go through hardships; and it is important to take ownership of your experiences and keep things in perspective. don’t believe the hype…you’re the only one to determine whether your reaction is appropriate or not. so whether your dog ate your homework or your mom broke her hip, do you and press on.

20
May
09

out of commission.

By crys. (c) Leave a Comment
Categories: uncategorized.

my sincerest apologies for skipping out the last week or so. i’ve been without internet during my idle time at home (which is when i usually write my blog entries), as i’ve been (slowly) moving from my old place to my new spot. please forgive me!

i’ll be bed-ridden (well actually, air matress-ridden, since i haven’t moved my bed yet) for the next few days, so i hope to make it up to you. stay tuned…

crys.

15
May
09

tat, tat, tatted up.

By crys. (c) 1 Comment
Categories: uncategorized.
Tags: , ,

what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you see a dude with tattoos (literally) from his head to his toes? how about a teenager with tattoos sprawled all over their forearm? or a woman with a huge tattoo covering the better part of her right calf and her (ex-)boo’s name spelled across her arm?

i know this chick doesnt wear turtlenecks every day!

i know this chick doesn't wear turtlenecks every day!

i’ll tell you the first thing that comes to my mind…where do these folks work? i just can’t imagine they have many options outside of (low-end) restaurant and retail chains, construction work, or some other trade job that requires a ton of manual labor. and while this might seem a bit (low-key) hypocritical coming from someone with an undisclosed number of tattoos, i can say what i want because i’m a self-confessed tattoo snob.

bottom line: if you’re into building/sustaining a career (which ≠ getting a job), tattoos can be limiting – depending, of course, on your line of work. truth be told, i envy folks that work in entertainment (film, tv, magazines, fashion, etc.) almost as much as i envy ellen degeneres for wearing sneakers to work everyday. and all this, despite the fact that it’s probably more difficult to find someone without at least one tattoo these days (which i think might be a generational thing; because my mother is probably the only person i know without a tattoo, just like she was the only person i knew – circa 2003 – that didn’t smoke weed). and while some folks will be tatted up no matter what, i’m sure there are plenty of folks out there that would throw you for a loop — all tatted up beneath the white collar. and secretly, i think tattoos are sexiest when you have no idea they exist until the clothes come off…

13
May
09

who said looks don’t matter?

By crys. (c) 1 Comment
Categories: uncategorized.
Tags: ,

i’m really curious to know who said looks don’t matter…and really only because i’ve met plenty of folks in my day (as i’m sure you have) that don’t have much more than their looks going for them.

you know the types you’d rather just look at than actually have a conversation with? in those cases, looks are the only thing that matters. and unless you’re trying to become america’s next top model, that’s not going to get you too far. but i bet it’s a fun ride while it lasts!

random thought. nothing more.

12
May
09

the heineken experience.

By crys. (c) 1 Comment
Categories: uncategorized.
Tags: , , , ,

Image032one of my favorite ladies is heading to amsterdam this weekend, and i’m jealous. i visited amsterdam for the first time five years ago, and i’m disappointed that i haven’t been back yet. it’s just one of those super cool cities that will always sit on my short list of places to visit (in fact, a long weekend in amsterdam would be superb). it’s quaint, quiet, progressive (or radical, depending on your point of view), and just all-around chill; folks ride bicycles all over the city, and no one makes a fuss about sex or drugs.

the city is also home to the heineken experience, which means a lot to a beer-lover such as myself. it doesn’t take a whole lot to impress me with beer (or anything beer-related, for that matter). and although the guinness storehouse in dublin was my first international brewery visit, the heineken experience has held a special place in my heart all these years. the guinness storehouse definitely takes the cake for the best view provided (while sipping a semi-complimentary stout) at the end of your self-guided tour. but the heineken experience is just that…an experience.

if you can handle it, i recommend having a beer each time you’re offered a pour. then make sure you share your experience with a video message via email (strategically stationed after the last bar) to five of your closest friends. there’s also a ride that gives you the opportunity to experience life as a beer bottle (which can’t possibly be too much fun in these days of recyclable standards), as well as interactive trivia games that test your knowledge about drunk driving, beer goggles and the like. it’s the type of place you can visit with friends, or stumble through alone (the dutch are very non-judgmental).

and if you’re not into beer like i am, take a quick stroll around any corner and send yourself into oblivion at one of the many coffee shops in town. no questions asked.

10
May
09

elevator etiquette.

By crys. (c) 1 Comment
Categories: uncategorized.
Tags: , , , ,

we don’t spend much time in elevators, but there is still a level of common courtesy that must be displayed. the expectations aren’t high, so they should generally always be met. i don’t ask for much (and similarly don’t give more than the basics) when it comes to elevator etiquette.

i’ll hold the elevator door open for you if i see you coming (but only if i can actually see you, which is different from knowing you’re 20 paces behind me), and you should do the same. i hate when i’m headed for the elevator and make eye contact with someone, only to watch the doors shut in my face as i (unsuccessfully) lunge for the button. once eye contact is made (we’re like family at that point), it’s pretty much your obligation to make sure i get on that elevator. stick your arm out, press “door open”, throw me over your shoulder, i don’t care…just don’t make we wait for the next available elevator.

i’ll also press your floor if i’m closest to the buttons. but wait for me to offer (unless you actually ask); please don’t ever demand (or expect) me to press your button. that’s never ok – because it’s not my job, just like it’s not yours.

as a small(er) person, i can usually carve out some space in a packed elevator. but not everyone can do the same. i’ll only pack myself in, if (a) i’m in a rush to get wherever i’m going, or (b) people tell me i can fit and wave me on (a little encouragement goes a long way). if any part of you touches any part of me (or anyone else), then you should probably step off and wait for the next elevator; because that means you’ll have to get off at every floor to let folks off anyway. not worth it in my book.

(i’m going to assume it isn’t necessary to mention that releasing anything in an elevator is never ok.)

one thing i’ve never really thought much about, is talking on the phone while riding in an elevator. i don’t really do it (unless i’m alone in an elevator), simply because i don’t want people in my business, listening to my conversations. but it’s never been an issue of etiquette for me (until i met one of my neighbors who profusely apologized once we left our building, for chatting on the phone in the elevator). i found it fairly amusing that she was so apologetic for talking on the phone in the elevator, because i didn’t really think twice about it; it didn’t bother me any. but now – as an after-thought – i think chatting on the phone in an elevator has its place. i’d say, if you’re going five floors or less, go for it. but to hear someone else chat, giggle, and sigh (loudly) for more than five floors could be annoying. therefore, i am personally instituting a five floor cell phone policy while riding elevators (for myself, and whoever else might want to take the sanity of others into consideration).

and that’s basically what it comes down to…consideration of others. that’s a bandwagon we should all jump on.

06
May
09

activist i’m not.

By crys. (c) Leave a Comment
Categories: lesi land.
Tags: , , , ,

i’ve never really considered myself to be much of an activist. i was (minimally) involved in a few “activist” organizations back in college; but i was always clear about the fact that i’d much rather help make posters for people to take to the march, than actually march myself. i’m just not much of a front-lines type of person; i’m more into the background stuff.

and this whole gay marriage thing is no exception. although i still haven’t completely made up my mind about the issue (gasp! a conservative lesi), i still donate money to various lgbt causes (including the campaign against cali’s prop 8).

ever since i was young, my mother has instilled in me the value of paying for convenience. and quite frankly, i see this no differently. i’d rather donate money to have other folks write in, call, and march on my behalf, than take part in all of that myself. call me lazy, but i’m a bit turned off by all the drama that seems to surround protests and the like anyway. just take my money and keep me posted (preferably via email) on the outcome!

and speaking of outcomes…dc’s city council approved a bill to recognize same-sex marriages performed outside of the district yesterday. good stuff (minus, of course, some of the ridiculous comments made). we’re on a roll (although, i guess after iowa anything is possible)…

04
May
09

watch what you say.

By crys. (c) Leave a Comment
Categories: uncategorized.
Tags: , , , , ,

back when i was in 7th grade (if my memory serves me correctly), i learned a valuable lesson that has stuck with me all these years (as i suppose most lessons should). it was lunch time, and my friends and i were all having what i would imagine was a pretty typical middle school lunch conversation (about nothing). i don’t quite recall how we got on the topic of names, but we did. and before i knew it, i started blurting out “ugly” names.

gertrude and beatrice are the two names i haven’t forgotten over time (probably because they’re classic “ugly” names, in my opinion), but i’m sure there were plenty others. well anyway, i yelled out a name between fits of laughter, and everyone but one kid (i don’t remember the name or the kid) burst out laughing. it took me a minute to realize he wasn’t laughing with us; and when i looked at him puzzled, he said, “that’s my mom’s name.”

talk about awkward. my gosh, i had nothing to say! i tried to convince the whole table that the name wasn’t really all that ugly, but i’m sure the huge smirk on my face didn’t work in my favor. the conversation naturally switched topics after that, but i still felt (a little) bad about my comment. i think the kid’s feelings were genuinely hurt, and that obviously wasn’t my intention. and since that day, i’ve always tried (my best) to watch what i say; because you never know how it might affect others.

over the years, this lesson has seemed to manifest itself in topics like religion and politics (and all that other stuff you’re not really supposed to talk about with folks you don’t know well). i don’t really get offended by much (if you dish it like i do, you’ve got to be able to take it too), but i’ve found myself wondering why folks don’t think twice before speaking a lot lately. because you never know who you might be talking to, what their story might be, etc.

i was at an event last night (my side hustle), and the crowd was basically made up of washington’s who’s who (which - if you know even the slightest bit about dc - includes plenty of gay men). i don’t know when dc was coined “chocolate city”, but if it was up to me to give the city a nickname today, “rainbow city” would be at the top of my list (not far behind would be “books”, because almost every metro stop is named for a school and i’d be willing to bet good money that dc is up there in the list of cities with the most educated folks per capita; but i’m already on a tangent, so we won’t get into the irony of that statement today). anyway, so there were many gay men in attendance last night — two of whom decided to slow dance together. and this dude stops me and says (in a bit of a nasty tone), “there are two men out there dancing together.” he seemed disappointed with my reaction when i just shrugged my shoulders and said, “so.”

and it’s comments like that that make me think about that day at lunch with gertrude & beatrice. because for all that dude knows, i could have gay dads, a gay brother, a gay uncle, or be gay myself (gasp).